Cotten Funeral Home
Trawick "Buzzy" Hamilton Stubbs Jr. of New Bern, passed away at the age of 82 on Wednesday, September 25, 2024. He was born on September 1, 1942 in Atlanta, Georgia.
He is predeceased by his parents, Trawick H. Stubbs, Sr. and Cornelia Taylor Stubbs, his sister, Katherine Cameron (KC) Stubbs and his granddaughter, Jane Morrison Moore Harrell; Survived by too many awesome people to count.
Buzzy was an Attorney and founder of Stubbs Perdue, PA.
Dear Dad,
There has rarely been a father who prepared his children for the highs and lows in life with infinite love and abundant generosity as you did for us. Thank you for working six days a week, taking a break for Sunday church to spend time with Mom and the "Bible Boys and Gospel Girls." No other dad could have shown his children how to love others with his actions the way you have done. We never understood as children that other dads did not bring home orphans you met in the day-to-day grind of court, to be raised like us and with us. Always eager to buy a plane seat for an extra-large stuffed animal giraffe you bought
one of us on vacation, you were equally as quick to buy a plane ticket for a homeless guy trying to find his way. We never knew your bank account at times was empty as you taught us "we can never out-give God, and He will reward our generosity." Thank you for planting the seed in each of us to find something to give away when we have nothing, and then showing us what that looks like by living it out. We will never forget driving down to the jail with you to get papers signed to help your coworker adopt a baby, or the Thanksgivings we shared when you insisted we invite all the people we knew who needed a friend to
celebrate the holiday. Everyone was your neighbor, Dad, and you showed us what it looks like to love people that others could not see.
Life with you was everything but boring, Dad. Thank you for always keeping us on our toes as you repeatedly found people and causes to fight for. Democrat, Republican, Black, White, Purple... you saw the best in humans. Admittedly, there were times we were embarrassed, but now, we recognize your unique ability to be you by doing the right thing instead of caring what others thought of you. Never conforming to whatever "normal" is may be the best gift you gave us. Whether you were a member of the Methodist, Episcopal, Baptist, or Catholic Church, you taught us we can find Jesus anywhere: in a piano bar in New Orleans, sitting next to us at Chicago Bears football game, or planting flowers in the backyard of Neni and Babu's house. Nobody has ever loved and cared for his sister as well as you did for Aunt KC, Dad, we promise we will do the same for each other.
Thank you that "everyday was a holiday to you". You created opportunities to celebrate our
birthdays any day of the week with bubblegum and purple ice-cream dripping down the velour seats in the back of your car. "Seize the day and why save up all of the presents from Santa" when we can celebrate time we're together, not just Christmas or Easter. You always created space for joy and laughter, even during a life crisis. "Live in the moment and love the ones you're with" ...wow, Dad, you did that better than anyone. Thank you for reminding us that everybody puts on their pants the same way, and nobody is more important than anyone else. None of us would have survived life this far if you had not taught us that life is hard, we will get knocked down, and we'll have to fight many days "harder than a one-legged in an ass-kicking contest."
You never stopped believing in us, Dad, and you always encouraged us to go for it, no matter the circumstance: competing on the tennis court or soccer field; learning in the classroom; or racing down the Trent River on a waterski. Thank you for paying for our education and reminding us when you died, there wouldn't be a dime left over if you calculated correctly. You continue to challenge us to find a way to survive all life throws at us. You never bragged that you were a Morehead Scholar who completed UNC in three years, followed by ranking at the top of your law school class at Duke. You rarely spoke of having gone to medical school like your dad did and how you changed your mind after five days of classes when you were introduced to your cadaver. You never complained or put us down when we tried something and failed or chose not to follow your path. You were "all in" on all our endeavors. Best of all, you told us how proud you are of us and how much you love us too many times to count.
Dad, you introduced us to and helped normalize mental health issues at a young age, before psychiatrists and therapists were "the thing." You lived out "The Bad News Bears" and taught us no matter how hard life gets, the underdog can always fight back and win. Asking for help and medication are as necessary as giving to others. Thank you for making mistakes and showing us that no parent or marriage is perfect. You and Mom (Jane Morrison Moore Stubbs) refused to give up on your marriage when others would have thrown in the towel. The two of you taught us to cling to God, the only way forward, for forgiveness and hope when our own marriages and children struggle. Whether playing a game of chess in your head or quoting Shakespeare to your own tune while brushing your teeth, we may never understand the genius in you. Thank you for using it to raise, discipline, and inspire us. You worked your way through school selling books and showed us the joy of hard work. You always brought the classroom to life, like the time you traveled to Arkansas for a live interview with Daisy Bates, enabling us to try to understand and feel the pain of racism, mixed with the hope that came with the end of segregation. The days you took us to work with you were some of the most fun of all.
Thanks for listening to your mother-in-law (Great Jane) and marrying Carol Everson after Mom died. It's been a gift to watch you start over with her three girls and adopt baby Riley at age seventy. Without Carol's love, courage, and perseverance, you never would have survived a kidney transplant and continued to share your gifts with all of us. We can still hear you singing loudly "How Great Thou Art" above the chaos in the kitchen or an argument in the car, windows rolled down:
"Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee, how great Thou art, how great Thou art.
Now Christ has come, with shouts of acclamation to take you home, what joy shall fill your heart. As you take a bow in humble adoration and proclaim, my God, how great thou art."
We are relieved you are in Heaven and for the numerous reminders you gave us to have
confidence that is where you are, not because of your behavior or anything you did, but because of Jesus and Mom's faithful prayers.
Strong work, Dad! You fought the good fight, and you won. To many you may be remembered as King of the Bankruptcy Court, a foxhole friend, the guy nobody could predict or understand, Hero, or the guy who loved to talk about constipation. To us, you will always be the best Dad in the world.
Love,
Alice, Tray, Jane, and John
A Celebration of Buzzy's life will be held on the lawn of the New Bern Country Club at 5:00 pm on Sunday, October 6, 2024, the Rev. Gene Tyson officiating, with a reception to follow. A private family graveside at Greenleaf Memorial Park will be held at a later date.
Memorials may be made to Jane's Fund (www.shinelikejane.org) or the Jane Morrison Moore scholarship fund at Arendell Parrott Academy.
Cotten Funeral Home is honored to serve the family and friends of Trawick "Buzzy" Hamilton Stubbs, Jr.
LINKS
The News & Observer
http://www.newsobserver.com
Memories
Gallery
Guestbook