Horace Anthony Gray

My father put his heart and soul into nearly everything he did. As a child, I thought he was larger than life. I dreamed of achieving the things that he did. Some how, I always fell short, never living up to his abilities. This man, started from humble beginnings, and worked his way up through the ranks of the United States Postal Service. His career, spanning 4 decades took care of his wife and two children.

My father was never coy with words. He said things as they were... and sometimes how he thought they were. He was a master of giving you options, that left you with only one option. For example, when I was around 17 years old, my father said to me, "You are almost out of high school. So I'm going to give you two options. The first one, is you can move out, find a job, and your mother and I will visit you from time to time. The second option is, you can continue to live here, rent and bill free, but you must go to college and graduate and we will take care of tuition until you can get financial aid. So what is is going to be?"

That is the sort of man he was. He had big dreams and very staunch traditional views of society and life. He wanted for his wife and children, a life different than how he grew up. He made that dream come true.

He moved far from the city life, deep into the suburbs of Southern California. He didn't want his children to be affected by the crime and tribulations of inner city Los Angeles. He wanted his children and wife to have a life with unforgettable memories.

Our father, took us on family vacations to Nevada, where we stayed in 3 to 5 star hotels. He took us to rodeos, car races, the Hoover Dam, to the first stadium seating theater, Disneyland, Zoos, plays, symphonies and more. He and my mother took trips to the Caribbean and traveled often. My father made sure that his life was different for us all.

When you talk with others about my father, you will find that he is most known for his strong work ethic. He worked hard. Some days, 14 hour shifts. His lifestyle afforded him nice things, but also, took him away from being able to do all that made him happy. His friends would say that my father always had to win an argument. Ha. Sounds about right. He was passionate about his ideas and ideals and didn't like them compromised.

Like all people, he also had another side to him. He had a temper. Boy did he have a temper. Where his temper often came in handy, is when people tried to cause harm to my family. He protected us like a wild lion.

He likened himself to a lion all the time. I guess I can see that in him. While my father and I never saw eye to eye, there are days I find myself missing him... when I am unsure about something and I want to go to the man who, I as a child believed was larger than life and had all the answers and ask him, "Dad, what should I do?"

We all take for granted those abilities to talk with our loved ones when they are here. How we miss them when they are gone.

One last thing to say about my father. My father had dreams of children who would do better than he was able. He gave us the tools he could. It paid off. I wish he could see me, his daughter, a doctor... and see his son, who had struggled so much in his youth, now earning a salary much higher than our father. This would have made my father proud. The last long talk I had with my father, was after earning my Master's Degree.

He told me, "Keep climbing and don't ever stop. Even when you think you've reached the top. Keep climbing."

I asked him why, why should I keep climbing and he replied,

"Appreciate all that life has to offer. Cherish as much of your youth as you can. One day, you will look up and in the blink of an eye, you will be old... your childhood, gone. There is no getting that back. Enjoy life while you are able to."

And we took his advice...

Thanks for your words of wisdom, dad. You made us all who we are today.